So let's start this new blog off with a story, shall we? This story is actually what inspired me to start blogging again. You see, this young lady, who shall remain nameless, (only because I really have no idea what her name is) she is the nemesis of moms with toddlers everywhere. She is the childless, not a care in the world, judgey lady who makes you want to retract everything you've ever told your toddler about how violence is not acceptable. She is the lady who needs to be ousted to the world (since the world reads my blog, you know) so that one day when she has a toddler who is being less than cooperative, we can all point and laugh, offering no sympathy as punishment for her days of judginess.
It started innocent enough as I decided to peruse the aisles of Marshalls as I'm wont to do when I have a little time to kill. Trouble is I had Sam, my 2 year-old, in tow. Don't get me wrong, he is usually my little angel face love muffin. However, things can get dicey trying to shop after picking him up from daycare. He is just ready to relax and go home. Apparently shopping is not relaxing for toddlers, not to mention humans of the male variety (hence my no shopping with the husband if I want to stay married rule.) I know this about Sam. I am well aware there's about a 75% chance I will regret going shopping. Why I didn't listen to the little voice in my head telling me not to do it, I don't know. Because I'm a glutton for punishment? I suppose.
So back to Marshalls. Sam wasn't being terrible, just fidgety and antsy. We passed the kitchen aisles where he found a bag of apple chips he wanted. I thought "perfect, an easy way to keep him occupied while sitting in the cart." So I opened the bag and let him munch on those.
Here comes my fatal mistake. I passed the toy section. He immediately spotted a package of toy cars, reached out from the cart, and grabbed them declaring "my cahs!" My child has approximately 137 cars. He does not need anymore. These cars were also $9.00. I told him these are not his cars and asked him to put them back on the shelf. This is when every frustration he has ever had in his 2 plus years on planet earth boiled in his little body and exploded out of his mouth. "Mmmmmy caaaaaahs! Mmmmmmy caaaaaaahs! Mmmmmy caaaaahs!" You get the picture. You know, I could have just given in and let him have the cars, but for some reason, I decided this was the moment I had to teach my child you cannot get everything you want in life. Like I said, glutton for punishment.
I tried to calm him down with more apple chips, a piece of candy I had in my purse, a video of Mickey Mouse on my phone. Not only did these offers not satisfy him, they only made him madder, which of course, made the screaming louder. At this point, I'm willing to guess everyone in Marshall's was looking at me. I wouldn't know, however, since I refused to look up for fear of the judgey eyes.
Maybe you're thinking "why didn't you just leave?" Because I had to pay for the damn apple chips, that's why! So I abandoned my cart in the toy aisle, scooped up my screaming toddler and got in line with several other patrons. Meanwhile, Sam is still screaming for his cahs. I avoided eye contact at all cost and am beyond relieved when it's our turn at the check-out counter. I am clearly stressed out, irritated, embarrassed, and you want to know what the young lady checking me out says with a snooty look on her face when I hand her the bag of apple chips?
You already opened the bag?
So then I punched her in the face and decided to blog about it. It's good to be back! The end.